itsbobross:

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10:03pm

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82640 ♡
May 02, 2021

thoughtkick:

“Do you know how much thinking and feeling I’ve done? It’s terrible. And nothing’s come of it.”

Andrei Platonov, Happy Moscow. (via perfectquote)

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

simena:

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Alfred Stevens - Nude on the Sofa

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

garbage-empress:

kurapikawithagun:

People who love cold weather are fucking weird. You like to freeze? You like to shiver?? You like when you take a step outside and the air stings your skin???

people who like warm weather travel by running and belly flopping so they can slide on their own sweat like some kind of fucked up combination of an evil warm penguin and an evil slug

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

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May 02, 2021

# i think im the most depressed ive ever been. i dont enjoy the things i love anymore. i also havent seen my friends in person in almost a. year and when we talk online we can never coordinate video chats because all of our schedules are all over the place. If it werent for my. partner i dont know if i would be bothering to stick around much. My new job is a total soul-sucker. i havent had the will to really take. care of myself either. I dont know whats wrong. I feel worse than when i was trying to die in high school haha. its just different. worse.. home is bad too. i can get past the gaslighting but its the mental abuse for me. ie.my family ganging up on me plunging me into panic. attacks continuing to fuck with me then acting like i dont exist and not helping me when im catatonic crumpled on the floor. you know?. and as much as ive worked on not being that person ive been finding myself comparing myself to my brother in terms of how we are treated by. my parents. simple things that are just unfortunate like how when my brother graduated hs he got a free trip to cuba then after uni he got a. free 2 week trip to scotland. meanwhile i just finished a 2 degree (twice the work in half the time) program and i havent even gotten a. congratulations. sad that the only parents who think of my are my partners really. his mum wants to throw me a party (dunno how thatll. work since my friends dont have cars and are in covid hotspots so i cant pick them up). i just feel empty. sad and empty.. I think im developing disordered eating too as work makes me feel like im constantly starving and home dissipates my appetite.. i also have definitely been hating my body -- truly and for the first time in a worrying sense-- a lot lately. i flipflop between thinking. im pretty ok and accepting myself and thinking im just ugly and disproportionate. i guess years of being bullied for being skinny did. eventually affect me mentally. HUH. now any time my body looks different than it has all my life my brain flips ah ah ah youre disgusting. i dont know what to do or who to go to.. ive never liked therapy and i dont want to get a script because i know i would either die or turn into a full and proper shell.. my family wont even listen to me about this stuff and i dont want to bother or worry my friends and partner because i love them too much to. make them feel like they have to deal with that let alone feel the imposter syndrome-y heroic complex of someone who -just wants to help-. you know?. i dont know what to do.

XQ.
Groovy Pointer 5